From Addiction to Freedom

My name is Francis, 16 years ago I lost my beloved grandfather. I couldn’t cope with the loss and soon found myself overwhelmed in grief. Depression quickly weighed me down and I was completely lost in life. I tried many methods to make myself happy again including excessively drinking alcohol, partying, one night stands, and finally doing drugs. It seems like yesterday when I recall this but that night after my first attempt with drugs, I was hooked for 12 years. All my savings were gone to buy drugs and the addiction made me unable to work, unable to socialize with my family and friends. During those years, I spent most of the nights in the hotel room, partying with other drug users, terrifying most of the time because I was afraid I would get caught in a police raid. It was my darkest moment.

I could have died many times on the road due to tiredness. When I was high on drugs I could stay awake for a week with very little sleep. I remembered a couple of times while I was driving, suddenly I sensed I couldn’t move my body so I watched my car speeding up at 120km/h and ahead of me was a big truck. Luckily in the split second my fatigue body came back to life and I was able to avoid the accident. Another time, I totally collapsed while driving. For more than an hour my car was driving by itself. When I woke up I found myself reaching Kuala Kangsar toll but I didn’t remember how I got there. It was a miracle that I didn’t die in a car accident so I believe it must be the power of God who protects me. 

During those 12 years, I tried many times to quit but also failed miserably. But one day, I had a dream, I saw my friends were hurt in the dream because of me and the drugs. I woke up from that dream and I decided to quit. I got involved in a new age occult practice including worshiping idols and took belief in buddhist teaching. I didn’t know it is forbidden for a Christian to worship foreign gods and I naively believed that there are many gods in the world. I began to feel confused but it didn’t stop me from exploring more in the spiritual world. The false teaching opened up my door to spirits, which I found out later they are the fallen angels from heaven. I got oppressed by spirits 6 months later, it was immensely difficult for me, unexplainable, it was just too hard to endure. I didn’t know God that time so I was hopeless. I wanted to end my life.

My dad accompanied me in my most difficult time. Despite not knowing how to help me, he spent time with me to pray divine mercy chaplet every night. Prayer is the weapon which sustains me in the first 12 months. I can’t imagine what would happen if I didn’t begin to pray. I began to rebuild my relationship with Jesus through bible reflection, rosary and daily mass. To be honest, the first year was hard because I had to deal with countless torture in my body by the spirits while at the same time worried about my drug addiction would come back again.

Now 3 years have gone by, Jesus didn’t take away my heavy cross but He gave me the strength everyday to endure the suffering. I was able to stand up with faith against demon’s temptation and it proved that Jesus’s name has the power over demons – they had to obey His name, just like how the Bible said it. My addiction has gone, my inner brokenness was healed by the divine healing of Jesus and my broken family relationships were rebuilt. My sorrows are being replaced with joy and I have gained confidence in life all because the Words of God help me overcome many challenges and weaknesses. 

I find my joy in God, the joy overflows from within my heart which no other material things in the world can satisfy. I recognize the feeling, it is the feeling that I long for – the feeling of love and being loved. I was lost but now I am found, so I must share my happiness with everyone. Our happiness and true love can only be found through God. When we receive the love of God in our life, the same love will flow through us to others. God sent Jesus to save me from sins, not only me but all of us, if we believe in Him.